woah 16 months

Once again up late blogging! I so need to be in bed! Oh well quick post just do you know i have not forgotten about you! Olivia is every bit of 16 moths. She is running,talking(when she chooses to)slapping.kicking biting and telling me NO! But even through all of that her smile lights up my life! Her clinging to my leg when i'm trying to do something makes me smile and her blowing kisses at me rocks me to the core! I guess you could say that i love her just alittle bit ( or a alot). I other news being a mom of a toddler is not an easy job and i must admit that i am loosing my paitence but i am really trying. Every night we say prayers and one of my prayers has been for God to teach me what olivia needs and help me to understand and be loving to her! It's tough but i know with my Fathers help we will make it through this! alright the bed is calling my name! It will be a long day today with all that has to get done!
KB

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
--Elizabeth Stone

Where did the time go....

So I just realized that it was the second month of 2010...... I'm not ready, first off to turn 26, and i'm really not ready for my baby to turn ONE!!!!  This past year had truly flown by! I can't say that i miss being woken up 4 times in one night but I miss being needed i guess! Yes, i know that she still needs me and will need me forever, i hope, but this kind of needing is totally different! I have loved every moment of this past year,even through the struggles of being a mom,to trying to go back to work, trying to find our place as a family and me still trying to find my place as a women. I think that I knew even when i was younger that i could be a mom and hopefully a great one,but the trying to find a place as a women with friends and a life has been much harder for me. I think I need to find play groups or just a bible study that is focused mainly on that factor...... Who knows maybe I can start one of my own! anyways gotta run!

life as i know it is forever changed by the child.

So once again 2 AM and i am awake,this time i'm not looking at birthday things, I am thinking back to where we have come in the last two yeasr almost. My life has been forever changed by Olivia, I'm sure you all are wondering where all this comes from, my best friend is pregnant and due is september with her first child and i've been dishing out what advice i can, but how can you tell someone how much their world is about to be rocked. There is no prepping for that, I know i have said this before, but i never knew love like this was possible..... peace

mommy 101

 So you and I both know that there are a ton of books out there telling you how to be a mommy, how to raise your child so they turn out one way or another. I'm sure that they have alot of great information, but after i read all of those pregnancy books and they about scared me to death, i think i would prefer to figure out how to do things by trial and error! Now with saying that, how do you stop your child from spitting out food and dropping it on the floor to feed the dog? I'm sure over time there were be many more questions to ask......

Where did my baby go

So it's 2 AM and i have no good reason for being up other then the fact that i'm looking at 1st birthday idea's. In the past year our lives have changed for the best, but I can't believe that it has been a year! It seems like just yesterday i was doing anything and everything to get this little girl to come. Wow time flies when your having fun. Olivia now has five teeth and is on the verge of walking and jabbering like crazy! Matt and I have been blessed with a baby that sleeps any time you lay her down and a baby that is content to play alone and go anywhere mommy needs to go! We have been blessed with amazing families who fight over who gets to keep her on saturday nights,who provide clothes (that are amazing, she is a fashionista at 11 months because of my mom) and who is the favorite grandparent. Friends that love olivia almost as much as we do and strangers who think she is the next gerber baby! To say the least we are blessed beyond what we deserve. Being parents have taught Matt and I leasons that we could not have learned any other way, about love, life and right and wrong, just to name a few! I love Matt more now then I ever have in our nine years. He has given me the best gift a women could ask for! To be a mom and a wife, and although I am still working on being a housewife, i really enjoy my days spent with olivia(even the bad ones) I look forward to what the years hold for us! More to come on the past year with olivia and what being a mom has taught me!

Getting bigger with each passing hour!

So it seems like everytime I turn around Olivia is doing something new! This week it is almost sitting up on her own and learning to reach for and grab everything(oh and turning herself around in her exersaucer.) I feel like a blinked and she is five months old! I have really enjoyed every minute of it! Right now I am actually trying to come up with plans so i don't have to go back to work but still make a living! I hope that this finds each of you well and loving your summers!
God bless!
KB

who knew you can love like this......

As I sit here listen to oliva's Cd play in the background and listen to the sounds of her breathing over the baby monitor, I'm asking myself if i ever knew that i was capable of love like this. That little girl has rocked my whole world. I love her smile,her laughs, her coo's . I would do anything to make her happy and everything to take away any pain that she is in. I'm not sure how to describe how i feel about her and i'm sure that any mother that reads this agrees with me. I know that it's got to be close to the love that God feels for me. I often just look at that face and think, " Thank you so much Lord for letting us raise her". She i truly Daddy's little girl and mommy's angel. For those of you that have not met olivia you are truly missing out on meeting a piece of heaven! I feel like God gave us olivia to help us heal from loosing Taryn and i can truly say that this little girl has given each family member a sense of peace and a lot of healing. I feel like we will always be missing a part of the family but i know that Olivia has helped fill in a hole that we have all been missing for five years.
more to come about livi lou and how big she is getting and all the things she is doing
KED